“We meet again, Mulcair, Trudeau, and May” scowled Harper as he stroked his evil kitten.
Think about it, like any James Bond villain, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has gone out of his way to take over Canada, while he sacrifices his henchmen any time bad things happen. Remember Nigel Wright? He was Harper’s “Number 1” (the one with the hidden poisoned-tipped knife in the shoe).
It must be bloody frightening to be a minister under Harper, because it would mean that you are subjected to jumping to your death on your own accord to save Harper from any scrutiny, while you mutter “It’s been a privilege serving with you sir!”
And don’t do anything too stupid. Also known as a “Duffy”, a “Del Mastro”, or an “Oda”. You’ll get thrown into the shark/alligator/piranha tank.
From day one, those who have been unfortunate enough to cross Harpers’ path the wrong way know his wrath – or at least his dirty looks… while they are forced to walk away from their post. How many ministers have ruined their political careers lying for Harper over and over and nauseatingly over again on the many news programs and political talk shows?
So either Harper is a spoiled-rotten little kid who takes shit-fits when he’s not getting his way or he’s a maniacal madman who’s hell-bent on being the Supreme Ruler of Canada forever, no matter who or what gets in his way… or he’s both. Yeah… he’s both. Because it takes a lot of nerve to say statements such as (not direct quotes) "Canada is the envy of the world when it comes to our financial genius" really? or "This government is at the forefront for human rights around the world, job creation, green-energy, climate-change issues, woman's rights in Africa, free-trade agreements, and just about anything else on the planet". Oh lord... this is embarrassing. All this and our Natives are starving coast to coast to coast. Homeless people everywhere. People losing jobs across the country. Poverty all over the place. Veterans ignored. Rich Canadians are doing well though, don't you folks worry about them.
Where’s 007 when you need him?
But the signs that something’s amiss are beginning to surface. The dollar tanks, and oil prices go into the toilet which affects Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Newfoundland; manufacturing in Ontario has been in the dump; Quebec can’t make up its mind what it wants to do; the Maritimes are constantly left out of just about everything; British Columbia thinks the rest of us can ‘get bent’, while “extremists” are running amok in the streets, and Harper just stands there with that stupid smile pasted on his face singing... “Everything's fine, I do whatever I wanna do, and oh yeah… go fuck yourselves.”
If Finance Minister Joe Oliver tells us one more time that he’s going to balance the books for 2015, I’m convinced he’ll blow up, or melt, or at the very least suffer a stroke or something. The man looks like he’s coming unglued right before our eyes. All this 'balancing the books' stuff is wonderful except for the fact that the Harper Torys have never balanced the books - period. In 2006 they started with a $13.8 billion dollar surplus courtesy of the Liberals (Paul Martin) and since 2008, we've been in a deficit. In fact, the cutting of both the GST and the Corporate Tax by 3 points cost the country billions upon billions. Not to worry folks, we're in good hands with Harper the Economist!
And the Veterans! All of it really pisses me off – as it does all Canadians. The latest? Spending $700,000 taxpayer dollars to battle Vets in court who want $35,000 dollars for help with missing limbs etc.… I mean really. For shame.
We are supposed to have a Canadian Government for the people, by the people. It’s not supposed to be a Trudeau Government, or a Mulcair Government either. It’s our fucking government for our fucking country! Is that clear enough Harper, Trudeau, Mulcair, and you too Elizabeth May! (Sit down Péladeau, this has nothing to do with you. Ever.)
It is however, the ‘Harper’ Government. Alas… our country is run by one man and only one man. And Harper’s Government is based on the tried and true method of “My Way or No Way”. Used exclusively by Spectre, Stalin, Mussolini, Putin, Genghis Khan, Attila-the-Hun, and of course, heavily favoured by Hitler.
Harper’s almost obsessive behaviour is bordering on lunacy. Who knows what awaits the next governing party of Canada when they finally open the books? Just what kind of a mess is it in? And is this another reason why Harper will continue to try to win another election, so that he has time to “fix the books” before others see them?
Harper seems hell-bent on winning again, and it's not just his usual ‘hell-bentness’ but an extra special cranked-up version – throwing out quips about Trudeau’s father, and Justin’s “trust fund” just about everywhere he goes (like Harper’s kids are going to be poor lower-class Canadians), making biased partisan videos paid for by Taxpayers on the “24/7” YouTube website (which no-one watches), and now they've decided to shove Laureen Harper into the political limelight as their “secret-weapon”. Why this torture? Why, I ask?
But here’s the real kicker… whoever forms the next government (not the Conservatives), will have to deal with a situation so bad they’ll have no choice but to raise the GST/HST tax rate, raise corporate taxes and cut a ton of programs and services to make ends meet because of the mess left by his royal chunkyness, Overlord Harper. The Conservatives will then be hypocritical and call that next governing party a bunch of tax-hiking losers.
Yes, Harper has made Canadian Politics Dirty with a capital “D”.
And then there’s ISIS (The International Society of Idiotic Shitheads) and the fun our Canadian Troops are having in Iraq. You know… getting shot at near the ‘Front’ when we’re not supposed to be at the ‘Front’ – except for the fact that for some unexplained reason, we’re at the goddamn ‘Front’ and not one other Allied forces participating in Iraq, is on the ground near the ‘Front’ – not even the Americans and they love to shoot at things… just for funsies no less!
Canada, its people and the armed forces are tools for Harper to use as he waves his sceptre around while he declares himself Overlord of all things great and small.
It would not matter who it was doing this level of damage to our country, be it Conservatives, Liberals, NDPs, or heaven forbid the Green Party, this is tyranny at its finest, and they would have to go.
Well played Harper, well played.
Image: Pictured – Mad-Men trying to take over the World/Canada. - Blofeld on the Left and Harper on the right, or is it Harper on the left and Blofeld on the right? Hard to tell the difference.