Rattan Mann

Rattan Mann writes to us from Oslo, Norway.  Rattan can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  as well as on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/authorrattan#!/authorrattan.  Rattan is also the author of the novel "The Prime Minister" which was was nominated for Brit Writer's Award for Best Novel 2012.  Visit Amazon for details http://www.amazon.co.uk/Prime-Minister-Rattan-Mann-ebook/dp/B00GGSX37M/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390212028&sr=1-1  


Tuesday, 20 March 2012 01:30 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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History says that even the most lawless and corrupt country (and Norway is a front-runner) cannot remain lawless and corrupt for too long. Unfortunately, History forgot to define how long is “too long”.

In this respect, the British have done better by being very specific. They say that in politics one week is “too long”. And they have proved themselves right once more – this time in Norway.

In the past one week or so, fresh winds have started blowing over Norway. I hope that this time they make a real dent into the stink that pervades each and every pore of this country. The following incidents give reasons for hope.

1) Since years I have been saying that the Norwegian health-care system is not that paradise that innocent people are forced to believe. And finally three courageous Philippine whistle-blowers have come to my rescue. The facts are as follows.

 
Saturday, 14 January 2012 00:00 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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Noble Cybercitizens, this year I will talk of only one thing – the most important event in Norway after the Second World War. Yes, I mean Anders Breivik’s Oslo Massacre. As the Norwegian police files charges against Breivik for killing 78 people, I file counter-charged against the Norwegian police in the court of public opinion for being directly responsible for the death of at least 50 of those 78 people. 

I appeal to all of you to be my Cyber Judges and Jury.

First the facts which are well-known.

On July 22nd, 2011, Anders Breivik exploded a powerful bomb before the Prime Minister’s office in Oslo which killed 8 people and then, dressed as a police officer, drove for about 90 minutes to the nearby island of Utoeya. There he gunned down another 78 people, unchecked and at his leisure.

 
Saturday, 10 September 2011 20:46 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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On 21 May, 2011, like on any other day, after finishing my math study, I switched on my laptop and clicked on my favourite website, BBC World, to make sure that the world was still in one piece.

I was shocked to learn that it was about to shake and twist into Nothingness within a few hours, leaving me no time to write my timeless will and testament for posteriority. Well, what this means is that I was not at all surprised by pastor Harold Camping’s Doomsday Predictions, because such “predictions”, like CIA’s predictions about world events, are always 1.000,000% wrong.

What shocked me was that even prestigious websites like BBC were giving such silly statements so much prominence and had made Camping a household name for very shaky reasons. The same prestigious websites like BBC don’t look twice at men like me who spend years trying to say something deep about the future.

This reminds me of Mark Antony’s words, “The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones.”

 
Thursday, 24 February 2011 00:00 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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It is well-known that the CIA is given a blank cheque of billions of dollars every year to predict the future, if not control it. It is equally well-known that CIA’s failure rate in predicting the future is 100%. Some examples of this debacle are the Iranian Revolution of 1979, 9/11, and the present Egyptian Revolution. The CIA is always caught sleeping at the very moments the world start burning. So it looks as if the burden of predicting the future has fallen on the shoulders of an unemployed outcaste like me freezing outside the Gates of ‘Paradise Norway’ like the ‘unemployed’ Huns roaming outside the Gates of Paradise Rome.

So from 2011, the CIA has someone to worry about – ‘Rattan Mann, the Hun’ knocking at the Gates of the Pentagon. From now on I will not only take up the mantle of an ‘Alternative King of Norway’ but also of an ‘Alternative CIA’ pitching my predictions against theirs.

Maintaining my new column, Quo Vadis Mankind, on NFP would be my ‘main covert operation’ as the ‘Alternative CIA’, just as wikileaking my New Year’s Messages via NFP is my ‘main ceremonial duty’ as the “Alternative King of Norway”.

 
Wednesday, 29 December 2010 00:00 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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Brave Heart Cybercitizens, This is my third 'Alternative King's Message'.

My prime obsession, 'wikileaked' into cyberspace via the NFP, is with corruption and racism in high places in Norway. Till now few have believed me, and mine has been a cry in wilderness, because the whole world is made to think that Norway is Cleaner than the Cleanest. But now I have been vindicated. For the first time (at least to my knowledge) an established news media, BBC World, has raised the question whether Sweden (Norway's Big Brother) is as clean as everybody is forced to believe.

I refer to BBC's article of 9 December, 2010, "Is Sweden as clean as it seems?". I will not discuss this article except to remark that "taking or giving bribes" is not the only definition of corruption. There are many other issues that fall under this umbrella.


As I have said many times, if Sweden, and especially Norway, appear Super Clean, it is simply because they don't allow anybody to raise this long-overdue 'BBC question'. But knowing Sweden and Norway better than BBC does, I am afraid, sooner or later BBC would be forced to regret having asked this question.

 
Thursday, 01 July 2010 00:00 GFP Columnist - Rattan Mann
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I want to rise or fall with my predictions, rather than with the amount of painful 'white noise' I make on various TV channels. So here is my 'prediction' as to how history will look at the 'War on Terror'.

The 'War on Terror' started with the famous (infamous) declaration by president Bush that it is a 'Crusade'. Later he regretted using those words but actually he was right - in a way he wished he were not. In fact, history will call it a Crusade because the 'War on Terror' has all the defining characteristics of a Crusade.

This is my first prediction.

Let us go back to the Crusades of the Middle Ages. Two of its main defining characteristics were:

1) It lasted for almost four hundred years.

2) It ended (actually pettered out) without a clear winner or loser. This is in sharp contrast with the two World Wars where the vanquished were brought to their knees within 5 years.

 

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