Sunday, 20 February 2011 00:00 GFP Columnist - Trevor Hill

We Are Not Special - For about three million years humans have trotted about this planet.  Our earliest ancestors had an excuse for being ‘stupid’: they had the brain size of a sabre-tooth squirrel. 

As we went along from being hunters and gatherers, to Homo Erectus and Neanderthals, we discovered that if we wanted to, we could work together, communicate to each other, organize tribes, and create basic ‘family’ structures.  At this stage of the game, we could make better decisions than we do now.  However, that great early thinking didn’t end there.

It didn’t take us long to realize that just like the animals, we could kill.  Then we realized something else, we could kill each other.  We also realized we could not only kill each other, but we had it in us to torture, imprison, abuse, coerce, maim, deceive, humiliate, and rape our fellow human.  And the human race was off and running.


Somewhere along the way, we, the great intelligent humans that we are, never changed that part of us.  We never evolved into something better.  We continued getting better at the evil side, but not so much the good side.  Then we threw more stupidity into the mixture when we “discovered” religion.  And that move cemented the inner-human division of good and evil into all of us to follow one way or the other.

umans… the final stupidity...
These are the blunders of the Starship PlanetEarth.
Her million year mission:
To explore this world and ruin it as much as possible… 
To seek out new life, new civilizations and then kill them…
To boldly screw up, where no idiot has screwed up before!  

As I wrap this up, I realize that the topic of Human Stupidity will go on until we are here no more.  The stories are endless and often painful.  Unfortunately the good that goes on doesn’t outweigh the bad nor will it ever come close.  The world we live in has been built on the deaths and bones of millions upon millions of people before us and they weren’t special either.

Open your eyes and look around, you’ll see the real human idiocy, the kind that makes us shake our heads in dismay and embarrassment of ourselves as humans.

And this next segment is a good reason why the stupidity meter went way up.  

The “Everyone’s Special” Syndrome

(And for those born in the eighties and nineties, well, they’re “really, really” special!)

We can thank ‘Sesame Street’, Barney and the other kid shows with their never-ending mantra of “You’re Special!” 

Yes, said they, every freakin’ kid is special.

No, every freakin’ kid is not special.

No one is “Special”. 

Am I special?  No.  Should I be, and why?  Because I get up everyday and suck up some of earth’s resources before I crash eighteen hours later?  No.

Am I Special because I write this garbage and expect people to read it and be enlightened?  No.

Am I Special because I help little old ladies across the street and rescue the neighbourhood kid’s cat from up the tree?  No.

Am I Special because I’m here on the planet?


Until the human psyche can learn to get over itself, people will continue to think they’re “something else”, and it is this selfish human outlook on life that keeps us from evolving into better people.

There was a time when we as early humans needed to protect the wee youngsters; it was a matter of continuing the species.  Some of our ancestors didn’t make it and died away. Shit happens, eh.  Anyway, using this concept in today’s world is a crock o’ crap.  Our “species” is doing just fine.

Unfortunately, the “Special Kids “ are now “Special Grown-Ups” and these fools are now cranking out the “Extra Special Kiddies”, and they think their little ankle-biters are just so “special”, it’s nauseating.  Then they top it off by thinking they are the first ones to ever give birth.  Ever.  

The “miracle” of birth is not a “miracle” at all. A miracle stops being a miracle after it’s been done a few gazillion times over and over.  Birth and death are one in the same and death is not a “miracle”.  If there is any “miracle” here, it’s living to be a hundred years old and still knowing what your name is.

It gets worse.  We must get out of the way when the pregger comes waddling along, after all, they could be carrying the next Einstein – or the next you know who.  We must jump into oncoming traffic because a special mommy is pushing a stroller along the sidewalk and we’d better get out of the way, because she has the anti-Christ sitting in there - or you know who.  And if you don’t get out of their way, you’ll encounter little Satan’s mother right where you stand.  In the end, most of these snot-nosed little jerks will tell their parents to “get bent” when they’re eight.  Lovely.

Today, miserable kids are worth than all the tea in China for some reason and that’s thanks to the “Think of the Children” syndrome created by a bunch of do-gooders during the eighties and nineties, who managed (among a variety of other stupid notions) to get the law on spanking a kid’s bad little bottom wiped off the list of condoned child disciplining practices for a while. During this period, the insolent kiddies were happy to announce their intentions to call the police or the local child services group should they be spanked, slapped or touched by dear old mom or dad. 

Those children are now impossible to deal with as they were taught that they had the power and not anyone else, certainly not their parents.  Parents lost total control and it was a dark day for that generation. 

This current generation of parents are a bizarre bunch, tied into the Internet and the need to talk about themselves, themselves, themselves, and their precious little darlings – in that order.  If you think I’m out to lunch, go online, there are parents who put pictures of their child’s sacred poo on their Facebook page.  Mothers-to-be use the ultrasound picture of their foetus as their community Icon pic, and this silly garbage goes on and on.  This weird offshoot of modern parenting is pathetic.  “Look how special my kid’s crap is”!   Literally!

Adults don’t run anything anymore, the special kiddies do.

Population and the Shortage of Food

There are One Billion starving people worldwide.  That’s 1,000,000,000 human beings - hungry.  One sixth of the world’s population.  Shall I put it another way or are you getting the big picture?

In Spain, during the Tomatina Tomato Fight Festival, thousands of strange people get together and throw more than one hundred metric tons of over-ripe tomatoes at other strange people for something to do.  Year after year.  They seem to have no problem doing this no matter who’s starving right around the corner.  And of course, other silly people, not wanting to be outdone by the Spaniards, have started their own versions of this waste of food festival in their home towns.  Monkey see, monkey do.

The amount of food wasted in North America every day would feed the people of the worst-off countries in Africa for a week.  Add in the rest of Europe and we’ve probably got a good part of the one billion starving people happily munching away.

In a world where the ratio of food per human stomach is nowhere near being 1:1, the next story adds to our meter.

the single women with six kids, used the ‘in vitro fertilization process’ to crank out another eight kids, for a grand total of fourteen kids.  Humans around the world think this is the neatest thing since sliced bread - yay, they say.  And what do we do?  We put her on TV.  Next she’ll get a Noble Prize in Reproductive Research.

This women’s brood will now go on to create an enormous family tree.  She has the “right” to do this apparently.  It’s all good.  Someone will feed this group, I’m sure. (She might not have a health-care plan though.)  And what’s worse, she’s not the only one abusing the fertilization program.  Women using this process are having twins and triplets when in reality those women would not have had even one child.  

Kids are not a “right”; they are a privilege to those who can afford them, house them, feed them, clothe them, and (if the kid is really lucky) love them.

Maybe it’s time to institute an ‘age regulated birthing law’.  A person must be 19 or 21 to drink in a bar, but its okey-dokey for a fifteen year old to give birth and then be in charge of a human life – for the rest of her life.  

It’s not okay for a person to ‘drink and drive’.  Then it shouldn’t be okay for addicted woman who do ‘drugs and reproduce’, like crack, cocaine, heroin, crystal meth, and other assorted, nasty ass, life-altering crap and then give birth to a child who will be in severe pain, and will quite likely suffer a hard difficult life.  These unfortunate circumstances shouldn’t come to light.

But this too is okay, according to the do-gooders.  After all, aren’t the crack-babies “special” as well?

And the do-gooders are never the ones lining up to give foster care for the babies, or the difficult two and half year old, or the messed up twelve year old that has serious emotional problems because dear old mom was on heroin, and this shit goes on and on, and nothing changes.

Then perhaps its time that one must be at least eighteen years old and/or not dependent on drugs to give birth and keep it, and if a situation should arise with an under-age girl, or addicted woman, said foetus is either aborted during the proper timeframe or the birth-mother gives birth and gives up the child for adoption.  Just think how much money will be saved with all the various Social Welfare Programs that cater to underage mothers and drug addicts.

There, put that it ye pipe and smoke it.

The Middle East

This is a tiring topic that never ends, the different groups of people, with their different religions who inhabit the area are hell-bent on self-destruction and it won’t end until someone sets off a nuke somewhere in the middle of it all.  This is human stupidity on masse and at its greatest; and one of the main reasons the stupid meter is so high.

No where else on earth has this level of extraordinary crap, been going on for so long, with never an ending in sight.

If it isn’t the Egyptians flipping out over Mubarak, it’s the Yemenis, or the Tunisians, or the Lebanese, or the Palestinians, or the Libyans, or the Jordanians, or the Iraqis, or the Afghanis, or the Algerians, or the Israelis, or the Iranians, or just about every other Middle-East country that houses repressed starving people.

The one thing that the Middle-East fails to remember is that while they go about their business of terrorizing each other and other parts of the planet, we, meaning the rest of us around the globe; have to wait and see what happens on a day by day basis.  Who knows?  Everyday I get up and wonder who in the Middle-East has started what.  It doesn’t matter whose “foreign policy” is pissing off whom, the Middle-East will do whatever the Middle-East wants to do.

Standing with one foot in 2011 and one foot in 2011 A.D., while Texting Messages to Twitter with one hand as they stone a woman to death who committed adultery with the other, the Middle-East has been tearing itself apart piece by piece, year after year, decade after decade, millennium after millennium, and will continue to do so until the unthinkable happens.

Whatever that is.

Business is Business

Corporations around the world process foods to the point where we have no idea what we’re eating anymore.  And then they top it off with Listeria, e coli, Salmonella and other wonderful stuff.  Mind you, we’re stupid enough to keep buying it anyway.  That, and I’m convinced they’re selling our garbage back to us in the form of food, furniture and clothes.  What’s in that fast-food anyway?

The TV ad tells us to eat yogurt “everyday” with the weird “B L Regularis” in it and that’s okay.  This is just one ‘wonder’ product.  Like any of these corporate people have a good track record in the first place and we should believe everything they say.  Unfortunately many of the masses do.  In ten years or so someone will pop up and say that “B L Regularis” does nothing or it will give you cancer of the stomach.  Who knows?  That’s the problem.  Who knows.

Let’s face it people, “they” don’t care and “they” will take us out of the family picture frame and not think twice about it with inferior and dangerous products, no matter what happy sincere advertising they stuff up our noses.  Plastic containers made with brain altering chemicals that hold baby food, water, and other foods, are finally taken off the shelves after decades of us absorbing the goo.   Thanks, we appreciate it.

Products containing lead, toxic chemicals and other such cancer-causing goodies are distributed everywhere around the world, by everyone from around the world, without anyone blinking an eye.

Companies create cheap crappy products that we throw out and purchase again and again; how many toasters have you gone through and where are all the broken appliances going?   The landfill. Thanks to big business and their drive to sell us as many goddamn toasters as possible during our lifetime, we’ve helped to fill up the landfills faster.  That’s just toasters.

Through advertising on television, there has been a push by a few big corporations, both subtly and not subtly, to encourage people to make babies, as many as you can drop out of your uterus it seems.  This of course is to make sure there are lots of stupid people in the future to keep buying their junk.  They’re insuring their corporate survival well into the next century.  Don’t forget to do your part, give birth today!

Technology Overload

The technology boom is more than what meets the eye.  And just how many electronic do-dads do we really need?

Big Brother isn’t just watching anymore, you’re carrying him around in your pocket. Your cell phone, blackberry, iphone, your new car, your underwear, and whatever else, are all traceable courtesy of GPS tracking.

Big Brother now knows where you are anytime of the day. They haven’t put the “chip” in your head yet, you’re supposed to carry it around for them instead.  And pay them for it as well.

Big Brother got a Big hand with Google Street View, one of my personal pet peeves. It just plain sucks. This younger generation don’t seem all that broken up about being spied on or having zip for privacy anymore.

Facebook as well is a part of the whole Big Brother picture too, with outside interests poking around inside the inner workings of the community, if one can call it that.  Face it folks, Facebook is designed to watch your every move, to record who you talk to, what pictures you put up and what you wrote in your status.

And no, I don’t have a cell phone or any other gizmo other than my trusty selection of computers.  

The cell phone industry has gone into sales overload, commercials on TV make you look like a dickwad if you don’t have one. Ask yourself why the big corporations all want us to have a cell phone, why the big push?

We all know the answer.

Media Madness

We’ve created TV shows that pit humans against humans because we get off on it.  Plain and simple. Who’s the Greatest Survivor?, The Biggest Loser, The Best Dancer, Big Brother, Wife Swap, The Worst Driver, etc, etc, etc.  The famous line for this is of course, “It’s just like the old Roman Gladiator days.” Apparently some games haven’t changed at all.

These days, Main-Stream Media choose political sides when they are supposed to be unbiased and neutral in order to provide the public the fairest reporting possible, thus allowing the masses to form their own opinion.  Well at least, that’s what they’re supposed to do.  In case you didn’t know or have forgotten what “free press” is.

We have no idea which media report is real anymore. FOX News for example has completely gone off the wall and the rest of the media groups aren’t that far off.

Television has unfortunately twisted our minds.  The “good” doesn’t come anywhere near balancing out the “bad”.  In fact, the worse it becomes, the more we want it. ?.  Doesn’t this tell you something about the collective state of humankinds IQ?

Everyone understands that the TV shows we watch, i.e. the Cosby Show, MASH, and the Big Bang Theory are “make-believe”; yes Virginia, they are “make-believe”.

The Commercials we watch are supposed to be “real”; the images are showing us “real” products that we all know we can buy; no matter how stupid the product is or how much we don’t really need it.  But we do know it is a real entity.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

Television advertising goes beyond the reality of the product.  In most cases, the images are not related to the product (effective marketing someone would say).  They attempt to “entertain and suck us in” through mind-boggling, twisted, and skewed images; the biggest infractors of this aggressive bullshit advertising is the gum and candy companies, personal products for the twenty something crowd (AXE ads for example are completely filled with crap messages for stupid boys), and cell phones, and other handheld gizmos, and there are many more.

Millions are spent on a commercial that sells a pack of gum for two bucks. 

Life in TV commercials is wonderful, everyone lives in a lovely house, they all eat the best of foods, they have the cleanest places after they use Mr. Clean, and they all have great cars, nice kids, lots of toys and lots of money.  We should all live in commercial-land.  No wonder most of the population is pissed off.

At least ninety percent of television advertising breaks most Advertising Standard Policies.  From out and out lies to underlying messages aimed to mess with our brains, television advertising is an added feature to the cause of “society’s breakdown” and not the television itself.

People watch stupid commercials and become - yep, stupider. 

Climate Change – Really?

If you’re more than thirty years old, you’d have to living under a rock to not notice the climate seems to be a tad different than what it used to be.  In case you’ve missed it, the usual somewhat stable world climate that we all know and love has gone off the deep-end and is pretty much doing whatever it wants.  From floods in places that don’t normally have floods, to places being bombarded by storm after storm after storm.

Regular rainfalls now dump that area’s annual rainfall in just a matter of hours, giving everyone their own front and backyard pool.

And if you’re not floating on water, you’re on fire, as winds fan the flames through dryer than supposed to be forests.  Or you’re dodging a tornado or a typhoon, or perhaps you’re busy trying to outrun a hurricane, all of which have increased in frequency and strength.

This doesn’t include earthquakes, volcanoes and solar flares, these things aren’t “climate change” items.  They’re “earth change” things.

What’s really odd is the idea that governments are thinking about how to solve the problem of “climate change”. They’re a little late.  Should have thought about this some forty to fifty years ago.  Not now boneheads.

And I don’t care what anyone says, we ain’t gonna change squat.  Period.  The earth has its own agenda and we’re annoying little bystanders who were stupid enough to add some fuel to the fire.

Hang on to your underwear, cause it’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets better – if… it gets better.


We’ve coddled the world’s weirdoes with a “syndrome” for just about any problem and invented the meds to go with them.  No one can deal with squat.

Half the people in the developed countries are busy nibbling on everything from Prozac to Valium, and everything in-between and then we wonder why the offspring have A.D.D. and of course, there’s Ritalin for that.  Don’t smoke a joint though, that’ll kill ya!

Besides AIDS, I wonder how many cases of A.D.D. there are in Africa?  I wonder how many over-wrought Sudanese mothers are reaching for their bottle of Celexa?  Just ask your tribal medicine-woman…they’ll know what you need.

Unfortunately, The Great Swine Flu Fiasco of 2009 should be one for the record books as the biggest “The pandemic is coming!  The pandemic is coming!” blunders in long time.  If the powers-that-be were hoping for a full blown epidemic to wipe out a good chunk of the population, oops, sorry, that one didn’t work; best try again.  This ‘flu’ was no worse than many others, and in some cases other ‘flues’ are much deadlier.  

Here in Canada, the company who made the H1N1 vaccine went giggling all the way to their Swiss bank account.  And at the rate they hammered away on us to get our trusty shot, the government probably got a “10% Finder’s Fee” from the vaccine company.

Thanks again to the corporate advertising world, little Tommy is going to die if he picks up the phone in your home because it’s covered in killer germs.  People buy into this, and we are now committing ‘germ-a-cide’ by over-cleaning and killing basic germs that we should all naturally absorb in order to build up our immune system.  I thought we all knew this.

Most of our major health diseases and troubles exist because we’ve created them in the laboratories and invented them with our lifestyles.  Smooth move people.


We are all capable of making “stupid” mistakes. Then there is “human stupidity”, an evolutionary development courtesy of a completely different set of humans who have changed over the last several hundred years to become the greater percentage of the population, who in turn, absorb religious, government, and corporate propaganda faster than McDonalds can make fries.

Those with I.Q. levels of small, furry, woodland creatures are the ones who will vote for a political party because they said that everyone will get an extra hundred dollar check every month as a tax rebate. They’ll reproduce at the drop of a hat and figure out how to feed little Bobby-Sue later.

All of us, past, present and future; myself included, are a part of the Human Stupidity factor. We have learned nothing, and just because a few of us “got it”, it won’t balance out with the rest of idiots.

We are capable of choosing something different. We are able to make better decisions. We know what is right and what is wrong. We know how to change our minds – for the better – if we want.

It’s always been up to us.

In the end

With any luck, this modern human race may witness an asteroid, a pole shift, a solar flare or some other major calamity that will keep us busy in so many different ways and then all of us can play Survivor for real.

This will have nothing to do with God or the gods, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the lining up of the sun, the moon and stars.

It will have nothing to do with humans, although some people will think it does.

Essentially, the human-life timeline has finally come around to catch up to an extinction point in the earth’s own timeline and that the next major earth altering event is one that we’ll take part in.

Quite simply put, we may have finally caught up to the grand universal show and this time, we’ll all have front row seats.

There’s a side to this that I believe we have asked for it with our audaciousness, our selfishness and inhumanity. That our modern civilization has to be brought down like all great, and not so great, civilizations before us.

So, you might ask, how do we fix all of this?

We don’t.

The universe will.

Opening Image Courtesy of 'A Sweet Life'

The Series…

- The Asteroid Can’t Come Any Faster: Part 2 – Politics: The Game for the Rich and Psychotic

- The Asteroid Can’t Come Any Faster: Part 1 – Religion: Will the Real ‘God’ Please Stand Up!?

The Asteroid Can’t Come Any Faster: The Series Introduction

Download the PDF of the Introduction and the Complete 3 Part Series

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